Monthly Archives: November 2008

The Autumn’s Golden Sun

Thanksgiving this year finds me in my ancestral home – that coastal land along South Carolina’s border with the Atlantic Ocean. From the colonial charm of Beaufort all of the way up to the tacky disposability of Myrtle Beach this place tends to be a soggy and hot. Something like the endless bayous of Louisiana I suspect, though far smaller in it’s total acreage of waterways, cypress trees and alligators.

The Gulf Stream’s northward flow up from the tropics has a lot to do with the region’s tenacious grip on warmer weather. The waters that flow northward from the Caribbean serve to moderate the temperature in the winter months quite a bit. Although it can get quite cold here for a day or two at a time it does so only rarely. I can only remember daytime temperatures in the twenties once or twice throughout the time that I grew up. Even during the nighttime sub-freezing weather hardly asserts itself until Christmas or later. I can clearly recall swatting mosquitoes on more than one Thanksgiving Day. Happily, this is not one of those years. My parents report that November has had it’s share frost already, with more than a few nights below freezing and some days that have barely warmed above 50 degrees. That’s pretty cool for autumn hereabouts, and the mosquitoes have consequently been dispatched into next year – probably some time in April if I had to guess.

The days of my youth happened here, and fall has been my favorite season ever since. Maybe that’s because it was so nice back then to be outside without feeling oppressed by the dead, dank heat of a summer past it’s prime. The occasionally crisp air was such a sharp contrast to the everyday experience of life in the Lowcountry that I remember feeling genuine exhilaration at those rare times when it felt like autumn. Between the damp gray days of rain there were sapphire skies, cold breezes and warm fires. Hidden among the relentless green of the pine trees and live oaks there were the variable colors of deciduous hardwoods – the purple leaves of maples, the plain browns of black jack oaks, the ocher of hickory and the mottled yellows of tulip poplars. Tucked between the haze of summer and the overcast of winter were dusky sunsets with whole horizons of unbroken copper and bronze, thin crescent moons and bright, steady stars.

Yesterday was one of those days. In the afternoon the sun filtered through the winnowed tree canopies of late November with that curious golden light that is peculiar to the autumn. Outside in the quiet of the waning year there was a hint of the musky smell of burning leaves somewhere far away. Inside there was the smell of roasting pork, cinnamon and clove, baked apples and boiling potatoes. It was and just as rare and special as it always has been.

I appreciate spring and summer more than I once did, but fall remains my favorite.

Just How Fat Was I Anyway?

When I’m in town my morning routine is something that I value. It’s certainly not the fastest way to get to work, but I love the relaxing, predictable and healthy start to my day. I get up, shower, make breakfast, and catch up on the news and blogs over a stout cup of french pressed coffee. After that I get dressed, ride the elevator down to my car and drive to work. I could do it with my eyes shut. Well, except maybe for the part where I read the news and blogs.

Anyway, this morning when I went to get dressed I remembered that every stitch of quality clothing I had was at the cleaners across the street. Since I had left the office directly for Llano on Friday I had not been in town to pick up my cleaning over the weekend. They don’t open early enough for my taste, so I decided to wear a pair of slacks that I would not choose under other circumstances. You might think of them as my emergency backup pants for situations like today. It had been a while since I reached for them last, and as a result I was in for a surprise.

In addition to being kind of dull and plain, these slacks are now also WAY too big. It’s one thing for your pants to have a little room at the waist band. It’s another for them to be so loose that they will literally fall off without a belt. To my surprise, that’s the condition I found them in this morning. They were so over sized that I actually had to fold them over a little on either side so that they didn’t scrunch up like clown pants. There was no choice – I had to go to the cleaners and pickup my regular clothes. No way I can wear those “Plan B” pants to work anymore. But as I dressed for the 2nd time this morning I realized that my regular clothes are getting a bit baggy in most cases too.

All of this has me wondering – before I started working out again this year just how fat was I anyway? I don’t think of myself as being super trim now (not yet at least) but when I look at how big these pants have gotten it really strains my imagination that they were once a close fit. My weight has dropped some, but I guess my body fat must be dropping a lot faster than my weight. No other explanation.

Another really nice benefit of this intense exercise regimen. I haven’t been able to work out since I got sick on Friday, but I’m really, really looking forward to getting back to it ASAP. For a variety of reasons.

Camping Trip Abort

Darnit.

I was going to spend the weekend camping and hiking at Enchanted Rock. I’ve met a new group of people in the DFW area that like doing this sort of thing and they seem pretty nice. During the week I spent what little free time I had getting geared up and headed south right after work on Friday.

During the drive down, however, I realized that the run down feeling I had been experiencing all day was probably more than just having a demanding week at work. With that behind me I still wasn’t feeling any relief – I felt more like I wanted to just crash on the sofa and truly veg out. It seemed clear that I was getting sick.

About an hour away from the campsite I almost turned around. I was starting to feel pretty crummy – bad headache, sore all over, spaced out. I figured maybe I could head over to Austin or back to Waco and find a hotel room. Much as I would hate doing that it sounded better than the prospect of camping out in pretty cold weather while feeling lousy.

But I pressed on. I didn’t want the group to wonder why I was a no-show and figured that it was possible I just might feel better in the morning. I found the camp site about 9 pm and joined up with the group. Sitting around the campfire with everyone for a little I marveled again at how visible the stars are when you get away from city lights.

But the morning found me feeling worse, not better. So while everyone else got loaded up for a nice day hike in the Texas Hill Country yesterday morning I broke camp and drove back to Dallas. By the time I got to the apartment I felt like a wet noodle. I even spiked a fever last night for a few hours. From lunch yesterday until now I have truly vegged out like I can’t remember doing for a very long time.

You know those feelings you get when you have a bad cold or worse – out-of-body dopey, sort of off-balance, really tired, can’t think straight, etc. I’ve been eating whatever I have on hand here mostly and truly killing hours on end doing almost nothing except watching football, napping and goofing off on the web.

Oh well. Sometimes your number comes up. I’ll meet up with my backpacking crew again soon enough. Nice folks.

Reason Arrives

A very good friend of mine who it appears would prefer to remain somewhat anonymous has begun blogging over at Voice of Reason as of late Friday. Of course I’ve added him to my blog roll.

In the hubbub years after 9/11 we used to occasionally threaten to blog together on political topics but never did. You know, jobs, family and all. I finally broke the deadlock myself when I moved to Dallas and had something to talk about that wasn’t politics. Not sure what finally got my friend to whip out his electronic pen, but I could not agree more with his opening post, The Architect.

As I noted here in one of my few political posts (where I was admittedly very wrong about the Democratic nominee but not the country’s impending choice of party), I was absolutely stunned the morning after the 2004 presidential election when Karl Rove was nattering about a “permanent Republican majority.” Here we were with an election decided by a tiny fraction of the vote in one swing state where a sitting president in a time of war was opposed by a very weak candidate and he’s swaggering like it was some huge victory?

Remember W going on and on about how he had accumulated political capital and planned to spend it? Right… How’d that go for ya George? He was immediately handed his head by a disinterested congress when it came to entitlements reform and subsequently had what has to be one of the worst four year runs for a president since Andrew Johnson. Quite an accomplishment! Listen to one historian’s account of Johnson’s personality and see if it sounds at all familiar…

“As Senator Charles Sumner shrewdly said, “the President himself is his own worst counselor, as he is his own worst defender.” Johnson acted in accordance with his nature. He had intellectual force but it worked in a groove. Obstinate rather than firm it undoubtedly seemed to him that following counsel and making concessions were a display of weakness… His pride of opinion, his desire to beat, blinded him to the real welfare of the South and of the whole country.”

Great job guys! Way to go!

Great job guys! Way to go!

Well, the degree to which Rove and Bush were standing on feet of clay was partially revealed in 2006 and fully laid bare a couple of weeks ago. Hubris is usually jarring to observe, but in the long view their completely out-of-touch view of the American political landscape is nothing less than breathtaking.

Hardcore Training? Really?

Something really cool resulted from all of my adventures this past summer. The extreme exertion I experienced while hiking up Pike’s Peak and riding the Cotton Patch Classic on a mountain bike had two big results for me. First, I realized how much gratification I got from the adventure and achievement related to pushing myself as hard as I could go during outdoor activities like that. Second, I realized that neither of those two adventures should have sent me so close to the edge of what I could do.

The final mile before summiting Pike’s Peak was truly challenging. I was hypoxic, my lips turning blue, feeling dizzy, heaving for breath and stumbling a lot. Granted, I’m used to sea level and that’s 14,000 feet, but it still shouldn’t have been that hard. As for the Cotton Patch, the last three miles of the 41 mile route I took were at the limit of what I could make myself do. My knees and thighs were most unhappy with me by that point. There were times at the end where I needed to “dig down” and power up a few very mild inclines and my muscles were wavering on the edge of not being able to do what my mind was telling them to. I’d go to push down on the pedal and things would just sort of go wobbly instead of the crank doing the spin like it ought to. And then there is what my knees would do to me. The day after Pike’s and the bike ride the ligaments in my knees really hurt whenever I walked downhill or made any sudden or fancy moves, like say the kind of stuff you’d do if you were playing Frisbee. Clearly I needed to build some strength and get my joints in better shape.

So, there I was enjoying this new level of exertion and adventure but also on the edge of not being able to do it. I resolved to change that, and the week after the Cotton Patch I started working out much harder than I ever have before. I now had two experiences that made me realize just how hard I could actually push myself, and so starting in late September when I was working out I knew that “the wall” was much farther out there than I had allowed myself to believe in earlier times.

Ever since then I’ve done three new things when it comes to my workouts. First, I’ve taken up the intensity and done so quantitatively. Second, I’m working out a lot longer than I used to. Third, I’m working out much more often. Together these things are making a big difference.

I used to try to guess my level of exertion during a workout – pushing myself “hard” but not so hard (in my reckoning anyway) that I would not be able to finish. Obviously that had not worked – I was way underestimating what I could do. So, I dusted off an old Polar brand heart rate monitor I had gotten as a Christmas gift a few years before and strapped it on. Presto – I was now able to see exactly where I was against my target heart rates and what I should be able to push myself to do. World of difference. For any of you out there reading this that have discounted the value of having one of these widgets while purusing improvements in your fitness, let me tell you – you’re full of it. Get one. Use it. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

When I use the old Fox & Haskell method of determining your maximum heart rate (220 minus your age) and then determine my target heart rates for aerobic workout from there, approximately 160 beats per minute would be the peak of my exertion before I got to VO2 Max. This is basically the maximum amount of exertion I could get to before I was essentially sprinting. By that measure I’ve discovered that I’m now pushing myself to the top of the chart in the “hardcore training” zone. Really? Hardcore training? I’m honestly surprised – you can see the chart here:

heart_rate_chart

The second change is the duration of my workouts. I used to go for 20 minutes. You know the old advice – if you aren’t going aerobic for at least 20 minutes it doesn’t make a difference in your fitness level. They key phrase there is “at least” – I had been using that minimum starting point as my finish line. Pretty ineffective.

One Saturday last month after I had broken up with my girlfriend I was depressed and mad and frustrated all at once. I got down to the gym, stood on the elliptical machine and started to dial in my workout. Weight, resistance and time… As the last step before I started it showed the default time of 20 minutes. For some reason at exactly that moment I remembered my decision at the Cotton Patch Classic not to take the turn for the 31 mile route and instead go for the 41. I stared at the flashing “20″ for a second and said to myself “No way.” I dialed in 40 minutes and set off. I did it of course, and now I do it every single time.

The third and final change I’ve made is frequency. Of all the changes I’ve made I think this one is actually the biggest. After all, if you don’t work out it doesn’t matter how hard or long you would have worked out. Showing up is essential. Here again I used to do the minimum. When focused at all I’d “squeeze in” three times a week depending on whatever else was going on. Essentially if I was “too tired” or “too hungry” or “too busy” in the morning or evening to go to the gym I wouldn’t. If the stars aligned just right I would go. Guess what? I didn’t go very often. In fact, I rarely made it even three times a week. Well enough of that.

Basically it doesn’t matter what’s going on now. I go. All the time. I’m very steadily doing 5-6 days per week now and I don’t let anything get in the way of that. If I’ve got stuff going on at night like social gatherings then I work through lunch, knock off a little early and hit the gym before I go out. I arrange my day and to some extent even my calendar around making sure that I’ll have the time and energy to go. It’s that simple – the difference between it being an aspiration and a true priority. I don’t ever, ever want to go back from that.

The benefits are just too numerous. I have more energy. I’m more optimistic. I can experience more in a day and a week than I used to because I’m not “resting” my way through life when something I can’t control doesn’t happen to be demanding my time.

So now I’m not vaguely slushing through a 20 minute workout on occasion wondering whether or not I’m pushing myelf. I’m going as hard as I can for twice the minimum time required almost every day. The results couldn’t be more clear. I’m gradually increasing the resistance that I use on the machine and keeping my heart rate just under VO2 Max the whole way. I’m obviously getting stronger and building more endurance. My knees have quit complaining. I have no trepidation at all about jumping on a mountain bike and going as hard as I can down the trail. I’m looking forward to more organized bike rides and some hard hiking this coming year.

This is good stuff. I still can’t get over the fact that I’m in the zone of “hardcore training.” That wasn’t what I had set out to do, but I’m glad I’m doing it!

Time’s Up

The financial crisis that has gripped America this autumn has caused me to summon memories from long ago. Among them are a few things from my childhood, things which were taught to me by a notable member of an older generation. They make chilling commentary on our circumstances today.

When I was growing up I was fortunate enough to have guidance and mentoring from a man who came of age in the 1930s. When you hear the phrase “self made man” it is usually applied to someone that has bootstrapped his way to wealth. My mentor was self-made too, but not in that way. He was self-made in the way of self reliance. Forty years on earth have failed to show me an individual more fiercely – and effectively – independent. Many of the lessons he taught me are among those I consider most valuable even today. I will confess now that despite my admiration for him and my appreciation for what he taught me I have not applied all of his lessons equally well.

We’ll call this exceptional man Wilson.

Although Wilson had been an outstanding student and had graduated high school at the age of 16, by 1934 it was clear that he would have to forgo college in order to help support his family. He took whatever work he could get at a time when getting any work at all was damned difficult. Instead of carousing or even resting when he wasn’t doing odd jobs, Wilson taught himself to be a chemist, a pyrotechnics  expert, a magician, a printer, and a radioman.

During the second World War he helped train civilians and military personnel to be properly prepared for chemical weapons attack. After the war he started his own businesses, manufacturing a variety of chemically intensive products including cosmetics and pyrotechnics. He did that while holding down day jobs with the Red Cross and the state of South Carolina. His wife Ethyl worked both out of the home and alongside him in their own businesses. By the time they were in their early fifties they had saved enough to buy a large piece of prime property and build a house on it with cash. Afterward they quit their day jobs and worked solely at their own business for the rest of their lives, selling goods that no one else made and, at times, formulas that no one else knew. Throughout their lives Wilson and Ethyl never used any sort of credit or loans to acquire anything at all. They bought what they could from income and savings, and nothing more. Ever.

There were the other ways in which they were extraordinarily self sufficient. He liked to fish, and in the autumn months when the striped bass would run he would wade out into the surf and catch as many as he could. Ethyl kept a big vegetable garden beside the house, and they would eat, freeze or can everything they grew and caught. What they didn’t eat themselves they traded for venison and fowl and other things from hunters and farmers nearby. They spent as little as they could get away with at the grocery store.

In your mind this might paint a picture of Wilson as an antisocial person, a scrappy someone concerned only with himself. You would be wrong. He volunteered for thankless local government roles, rose to the highest ranks of Freemasonry and was a respected member of the Rotary Club and Kiwanis. Privately, he did even more. Wilson spent lots of time with kids like me, teaching us all manner of things about chemistry, magic tricks (often fun when combined) and countless other things that in my youth seemed like the hidden wisdom of the ages revealed. Least visible of all he did very personal charity, usually helping families that fell on misfortune due to illness or injury. He gave to these families using churches or other organizations as fronts. They never knew who their real benefactor was.

Wilson and I got to know each other starting in the late 1970s and early 1980s when economic times were not so great. The US was, of course, in a prolonged recession then and there were many parallels to the conditions we are starting to see today. Fuel prices were high, credit was tight (and very expensive) and jobs, especially good ones, were much more scarce than they are even now. Of course to Wilson the conditions of the 1970s were no big deal. Compared to the bitter despair of breadlines and the many other heartbreaks of the Great Depression, the doldrums of the 70’s were mild. In any case he and Ethyl had been so prudent for so long that they had little to fear. Their home and everything in it was paid for. They had lots of savings put aside. They grew and caught their own food. If times got really hard people would be coming to them for help, not the other way around.

When I would visit him Wilson talked about the tough times of the 1930’s a lot, and the habits of people in later days just as much. One of the stories that he told me was about a family he had helped back in the 1950s. We’ll call them the Smiths. I remember it vividly because he described their wretched condition so well. They had fallen on hard times when Mr. Smith had lost his job and they could no longer pay their bills. They had a lot of bills.

Wilson marveled at how the Smiths had lived. He said that they had bought everything “on time” which was his way of saying with credit that required making payments over time. Their house, their car, their appliances – even some clothes. All of these things were bought with some sort of credit facility, provided in some way by a bank, a car dealer or a department store. They had no savings, and when their income disappeared their situation quickly became desperate.

Wilson could not comprehend it. Mr. Smith had had a good job for some number of years, and yet there they were living completely in hoc. He couldn’t fathom how they would have no savings to speak of or how they could possibly think it right to owe money on their shelter, transportation and nearly everything else under those circumstances. He recalled that as a young man every family he knew of that was able to buy a home did so only after saving for many years. People who bought things “on time” suffered most when the Depression hit. That anyone in a younger generation could make the same mistake astounded him.

Wilson related this story to me because by the time I was a kid “consumer credit” had just become a reality and it deeply troubled him. He saw everyone becoming like the Smiths. Visa, MasterCard and American Express were coming on strong, and of course by then virtually everyone bought cars with loans and houses with mortgages. This was long before the average household carried the kind of debt burden that it does today. It was also long before the United States itself carried the kind of debt burden that it carries now.

I cannot imagine the reaction he would have to our circumstances now. For decades we have been a nation living “on time,” a country that has become almost wholly dependent on credit for everything.

The average US household carries $8,000 in credit card debt today, has a negative savings rate and little to no equity in the home in which it resides. I’m sure with times turning sour these numbers will only get worse. These frightening statistics are nothing, however, compared to our collective indebtedness we share as a result of being citizens of the United States.

We now carry 15 trillion dollars in debt by some estimates. 10 trillion of that was the accumulated national debt before the current financial crisis. Some sources estimate that the total of all taxpayer-backed bailouts pledged in recent months already totals five trillion dollars and is rising by the week. The two together get us to the 15 trillion mark.

But it gets still worse.

Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and other similar US government entitlement programs now have a future unfunded liability of an additional 41 trillion dollars. In simple terms this means that these programs are currently scheduled to disburse 41 trillion dollars more than they will take in through taxes over the course of their lifetimes.

Add it all up and divide by the number of taxpayers and you get to a truly astonishing and frightening fact. Assuming that the US has about 150 million taxpayers (close enough for this exercise) the grand total of all US government indebtedness including promises of future payments now totals about $373,000 per taxpayer!

If we all had hundreds of thousands of dollars in savings in the bank this would be scary enough, but on average we are all broke in our private lives. The truth is plain and unavoidable. During our lifetimes the government will be faced with a choice – come to each of us paupers asking for $373,000 or renege on the promises it has made to the borrowers that have been lending to it and all of the retirees that are counting on it.

I have no idea what will happen in the end, but I simply don’t believe it’s possible for us to honestly pay our way out of this mess. We have already gone beyond the point where you can raise taxes enough to do so. History has shown over and over again that when taxes are raised beyond a certain level overall productivity declines and tax receipts actually go down, not up. It’s kind of like trying to carry too much stuff at one time. Ultimately you just drop everything. I have to believe that we’ll reach that point long before we can raise the money necessary to pay off our nation’s debts.

The financial markets are starting to figure all of this out. Earlier this week I read here that there is talk in some circles of cutting the credit rating of the United States from it’s current AAA status for the first time ever. This has many implications, but the most urgent will become the fact that the cost of borrowing all of this money to cover the gap between taxes and spending will go up substantially. What happens after that, well… I shudder to think.

The word “calamity” hasn’t been popular for generations but it could make a big comeback. If you want to see how truly hard life was for people in Wilson’s generation I recommend a few movies and books that will give you a feel for it. For movies you could do a lot worse than Cinderella Man and Sea Biscuit. For books I can’t recommend the recent Water for Elephants enough. Older titles like Grapes of Wrath are, of course, indispensable. Of Mice and Men was both a good book and good movie. Absorb those works and reflect on how differently you have lived your life to this point than did the characters you see portrayed. Say a prayer that those two very different kinds of experiences don’t become more similar during the remainder of your life.

For his sake I’m glad that Wilson passed on many years ago. I never saw him become emotional but he was more than a proud man – he was a patriotic one as well. I think he would weep at our state today. Why we all could not have followed his kind of example to at least some degree is beyond me. It was in us I think, but somehow it escaped us in later generations. Just like the Smiths that he helped out in the 1950’s, we have been living “on time” too much and too long.

Time’s up.

Bumps and Bruises

OK, maybe make that bumps, bruises, scrapes, scratches and strains.

Today I went for my second mountain bike ride on real terrain. Last weekend on the north shore of Lake Grapevine felt like a bit of a challenge, but this morning on the trail at the Oak Cliff Nature Preserve was far, far more difficult. I was with R today. R is one of those guys that you might see on the cover of Men’s Health magazine. He and his wife C are long term world-wide adventure seekers that do this sort of thing for a living with their travel business. In addition to knowing what he’s doing, R is also a really cool guy that has helped countless newbies like me pick up new adventure sports over the years. Good thing as it turned out.

Lake Grapevine’s trail is pretty rugged and even rocky, but on most of the trail’s length the slopes are gradual. The steeper inclines are certainly there, but they are not spaced all that closely together. They also do not quickly reverse themselves from going downhill to back uphill again. This turns out to be a very, very important difference. The trees on Lake Grapevine’s trail also factor in quite a bit less. This was also material.

At first Oak Cliff seems benign by comparison. The densely wooded trail has soft earth and leaves underneath heavy tree canopy in most places. Many of those stretches ride like silk. If Lake Grapevine was a rutted old dirt road then Oak Cliff was often the Autobahn. But then came the challenges.

Unfortunately, all those nice shady trees have trunks, which from the relative safety of a sidewalk stroll you might have noticed before. Such a pleasant stroll might lead you to believe that trees are purely good and passive organisms that accept whatever fate we dole out to them – becoming shade trees, firewood, memos, junk mail or paper cups. You might be forgiven for thinking that, but you would be wrong. Trees are actually very calculating, and after today I’m reasonably sure that the ones we leave standing are out for revenge. They know precisely how close they can get to a mountain bike trail so that you will be convinced – incorrectly – that you can easily and quickly pass through without harm. I know what you are thinking – hearing stories about somebody running into a tree on a bicycle probably sounds funny at some level. I mean, after all, it’s not like the tree is moving. How hard can they be to miss?

As it turns out, when you are moving very fast downhill and going around sharp curves on leaf covered ground, hitting a tree is really not all that hard to do. In fact, it’s easy enough that I was able to do it myself a couple of times over the course of 8 miles. One word – ouch.

Far more painful still was “pancaking” at the bottom of a small ravine with a floor of solid rock. I’m still not sure exactly what happened, other than to say that when you are heading down a 45-55 degree incline which quickly reverses itself and then goes back up just as fast, it’s a great idea to already have some notion of what you are doing. In my case, riding a bit too far forward on the seat – and then losing control of the handle bars when the shock of the uphill started – resulted in me continuing to proceed downhill. Directly into the rock floor. My helmet was the first thing to make contact, my shoulder the second. The bike (they may be in conspiracy with the trees I think) somehow ninja’d up into the air and came down on top of me after that. Maybe it bounced. I didn’t.

Anyway, the sound of the impact must have been pretty impressive. I could hear the alarm in R’s voice when he said “Stay down! Don’t move!” and rushed down the hill to look into my pupils. He wanted to make sure that the gouges on my helmet had not translated into anything worse underneath. It was at precisely this moment that I suddenly realized why you meet so few people like R who look like they could be on the cover of Men’s Health. The rest of them were obviously eaten by trees and rocks.

I was fine. I just hurt like @#$%& @*^& +#$@% for about five minutes. Now, ten hours later, I only hurt like @#$%, so things are getting better.

All of this is not to say that I won’t be mountain biking anymore, but you can be sure that I’ll be a bit more judicious about which trails I select until I get a little better at it. I think I’d prefer trails where the trees have been tamed a bit better, and the downhills aren’t solid rock half pipes.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll live long enough to make the cover of Men’s Health.

The Big Gun

On Wednesday I went back to the DFW Gun Range with A, a friend from work, and M, a friend of his from his time growing up in Dallas. They brought their weapons and ammunition, I brought my cash to pay for their lane time and targets. We proceeded to light up quite a bit of cordite.

The star of the show this time was A’s Desert Eagle .50 caliber magnum. Holy moly. It’s Saturday and my hand still feels a little sore. To give you an idea of what we’re talking about here, consider that the empty shell casing of a .45 ACP sidearm entirely disappears if you drop it into the empty shell casing of a .50 AE round. I’d say there’s about twice the gunpowder in the .50 caliber magnum round if I had to guess. The .357 magnum or even Dirty Harry’s most-powerful-handgun-in-the-world .44 magnum? Well, their casing length compares, but their diameter does not. The .50 caliber is simply a monster.

See? Isn't that nuts?

See? Isn't that nuts?

Although I can make a pretty tight pattern with a 9mm semiautomatic at 20 yards, with the Desert Eagle “pattern” was hard to come by at even half that distance. Though I was well within the range of accuracy required to hit an assailant with each shot, I was not at all on target like I normally am. I’m not sure that minor inaccuracy would have mattered in one bit in real life, however. One round from that thing would probably stop a truck.

When you fire this pistol several things happen. First off, the blast leaving the muzzle is so powerful that it literally kicks up the dust on the firing range floor in front of you. The smaller brass even rolls forward a little. The paper target – if it is within 10 yards – blows backward with such force that it almost wraps over on top of itself. The recoil is so strong that the pistol twists in your hand after firing. Lining up for a second shot is something you’re not even sure that you really want to do.

It doesn’t stop there. The firing range is not known for attracting shrinking violets. Everybody on a lane generally has at least a little bit of tough guy or tough gal going on. It’s just a part of that environment. Whatever macho chatter is happening before you fire that pistol, however, quickly is replaced with silence and then subdued murmurs afterward. There really is just isn’t anything to say. By comparison, the 9mm pistols I’m used to shooting sound a bit like cap guns. When you see somebody on a firing range flash you a look that seems a little like “Jerk, what do you have that thing for?” you’ve made an impression, trust me.

I had fun with the experience and am glad that A was willing to share, but I’d say for certain that there is ZERO chance that I’ll ever own one of those pistols.

Words and Wine

This past Sunday I met up with a group that likes to do two things which I’m fond of – read and drink wine. The topic for this particular afternoon was Hemingway’s memoir of life among the Lost Generation in 1920′s Paris entitled A Moveable Feast. It really was a nice way to spend an autumn afternoon and evening.

The meeting was not only right here in Uptown but not even a block away from where I live at Nikolini’s -  a little organic restaurant specializing in Greek food. Their service is casual – even a bit haphazard – but the owner is a very nice lady who spends much of her time working true craft in the kitchen. The food is simply awesome.

The group had appetizers and, on this night, the wine which we brought ourselves. Nikolini’s is apparently between liquor licenses so it operated a bit like a bottle club that day. I brought a nice French red that was recommended to me and thoroughly enjoyed it. So did another member of the group with whom I did not offer to share, but that’s another story.

As we discussed the book we all shared the same perception of Hemingway’s mood. In a word, melancholy. Though he was describing what sounded like was the time of his life as a young, happily married author in the City of Light, the writing itself was unacountably sad. It must have been related to the fact that he wrote the work in his later years, a time when he was clearly – and ultimately fatally – depressed.

One thing that you couldn’t help but notice as you listened to him tell tales about the rest of the so-called Lost Generation authors was just how forlorn and messed up their private lives were. Gertrude Stein and Ezra Pound and many others came across as people who were sad and eccentric. Above them all, however, was F. Scott Fitzgerald. He and his wife Zelda seemed to live in a continual state of chaotic, self-destructive drunkeness. Zelda seemed like the very worst wife you could imagine – jealous of her husband’s success, constantly distracting him with ridiculous drama and outright ridiculing him in private, vicious ways.

You could look back on the tales of those author’s lives and marvel that there could have been such talented and yet unhappy people at that time. But you’d be missing the broader point I think. Those authors were much like our celebrities are today – recall that in the 1920′s not only was television non-existent, but films were silent and even radio was brand new. These writers were the superstars of their time and they were often terribly tragic figures. So it is with our modern superstars, too. There are too many examples of loneliness, frustration, addiction, heartache, misery and death among the Hollywood elite of today to recount. What is it about fame and fortune?

For my part I’m glad that I get to do things like enjoy the company of new acquaintances in the golden afternoon sun of November in Dallas, cutting up, laughing, eating great food and making delicious wine disappear. The anonymous life is just fine I think!

On the North Shore Trail

Although I’ve ridden a mountain bike a few times now, today was the first day that you could say that I’ve actually been “mountain biking.” I took a 10+ mile ride up on the north shore of Lake Grapevine. It was a great experience and despite the fact that it appears to be a sport which is not without its hazards, I am looking forward to doing it again.

Making the ride happen this morning turned out to be an exercise in determination. A group that I wanted to meetup with on Saturday morning was planning the ride, and though I wanted to go I had no bike and no way to transport one in any case. No matter I thought – both deficiencies could be remedied. Well, yes, but not without some non-trivial effort. To make a long story short I bet I drove 300 miles over the course of this week getting a hitch mounted on my car to receive a bike rack, getting the bike rack, renting a bike, going on the ride and finally returning the bike. The good news? Pretty soon I’ll have my own bike and from then on I’ll be able to just go on the ride!

But after all that, I wound up not going on Saturday as planned.

A friend at work has been trying to introduce me a to a close-knit group of his friends here in the Dallas area that he thinks I might fit in with. They are a pretty spontaneous group so planning ahead doesn’t really work. Friday afternoon it was on – we were meeting at a bar in Knox-Henderson and going to Halloween parties from there. One thing led to another and I did not get back in to the apartment until 2:30 am, and when the alarm rang for me to get up and go ride I, um, didn’t go.

I wasn’t giving up though. I resolved to go on Sunday morning instead. I kept the bike for an extra day, and with the benefit of a day’s rest after Halloween parties and an extra hour of sleep with the time change I took off for the north shore trail on Lake Grapevine this morning. One of the new friends I made on Friday night advised me that I had not chosen the easiest trail for a beginner. After seeing what the ride was like I’m glad to know that. If what I had done this morning was “easy” then I’d hate to see what “hard” looks like.

For those of you that have never done a ride on a challenging trail, you might be surprised at what mountain bikers do. They ride pretty hard and at times very fast over terrain that many people would not even try to walk on. Steep inclines. Loose rocks. Sharp drop-offs ahead and to the side. Deeply rutted trail that can easily catch a tire and turn it sideways. Very narrow paths slicing between trees that are scarcely farther apart than the width of handle bars. On top of all that, the traffic on the north shore trail is two way. It’s an out and back route, not a loop. So in addition to negotiating the hazards of the trail and its terrain, you also have to take care not to run head on into another cyclist with a combined speed of, oh, maybe 30+ miles per hour.

It’s a heck of a workout and it commands your complete attention. I took my heart monitor and for nearly two hours straight I had a pulse that nearly matched my “flat out” speed on the elliptical machine in the gym.

I’m hooked.